Becoming a Better Me

This year was my greatest educational experience yet. Not surprisingly, traveling the world taught me so much and, at the same time, challenged much of what I thought I knew.

Solo travel affords solitude. And solitude provides the space to think and overthink. When I was younger I was frequently advised to stop overthinking things. I was a perpetual over-thinker and that was perceived as negative. This was especially true with respect to feelings and emotions. In retrospect, it was the worst advice. Of course, I should overthink things. It’s a necessary part of the discovery process. During my travels, I spent much of my time thinking critically and systematically with the intention of learning. Going forward, I plan to spend more time thinking and overthinking so as to continue to grow and evolve.

Reading was my catalyst for self-discovery. I never considered myself a strong reader. It was time to challenge this perception. Since childhood, I was an insecure, somewhat lazy reader. While my older sister would devour book after book, I would rarely finish one I started. I’m a slow reader with a wandering mind. I had allowed my reading speed to deter me. This year I was determined to shift my mindset. I challenged myself to read eighteen books in 2018 on the condition that they had to provide meaningful learning. Many were focused on social and political justice, subjects that would soon become passions for further development.

Though I fell just short of my goal, I managed to read fifteen books in twelve months. I’m embarrassed to admit that’s more than I’ve read in the last decade. Of course, the number is less important than the content of what I am reading. Such intentional reading provided a level of personal and intellectual enrichment that is invaluable. I plan to continue towards my reading goals. Once I reach the goal, I’ll simply raise the bar.

Early on in my journey, I began to reconsider my definition of success and set out to better define it. Naturally, the people I encountered were pivotal in shaping my views.

In Israel, I worked on a farm alongside Karin, an inspiring woman from Brazil who left her home in Rio to travel to developing countries and spread her vision for sustainability and zero waste. In Korea I befriended Amanda, an impressive young woman from central China who struggled with her community’s emphasis on materialism and wealth. For Amanda, obtaining a good job was predicated on demonstrating a certain level of materialism. Her lack of desire for it was a limitation. Norway, the second wealthiest country in Europe based on GDP per capita, has income tax rates of close to forty percent. Yet, the country is most proud of its robust social welfare system and income equality. These are just a few examples that pushed me to think differently.

Being a largely capitalistic society, success in America is correlated with wealth. The American dream is centered on prosperity in the setting of equal opportunity. But should the attainment of wealth define success? Or should wealth be the means to create impact and that impact is how we measure success?

My encounters and learnings enabled me to interrogate what success looks like for me with greater precision. Through my new lens, success should be defined as achievement of a multidimensional, individualized set of goals. For me personally , achievement of those goals must result in large-scale societal impact.

“We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring, will be to arrive where we started, and know the place for the first time.”

T.S. Eliot

Before I left, my former boss and mentor shared with me her favorite T.S. Eliot quote. She was concerned that once I left I would not want to return home. While I’ll admit there is a small part of me that wanted to continue on to the next country, towards the end of my journey, I began to look forward to returning. Since I’ve been home, at times it’s felt like I’m in a new place. And in this new place, I have work to do.

I embarked on this journey anticipating that my learnings and experiences would shape my views of the world. Instead, they shaped my views of me and, ultimately, the person I want to be – a better version of me.